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Author Topic: My BrainEv Experiences  (Read 2081 times)

TigerEyes

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My BrainEv Experiences
« on: April 16, 2015, 03:14:15 am »
Hi, guys!

Think I'll make this topic to use as a journal of sorts for all my BrainEv experiences.

I actually bought BrainEv maybe 8 months ago, but kinda fizzled out into month 2.  I wasn't really having problems with the level itself like I've read some people do here, but I was just kinda losing momentum.  I put it on the backburner when I realized that all the ear-phones in the apartment only had one bud working, and I know I need to have both working for best results.  But I finally went to the dollar store a few days ago and picked up a new pair of earphones for $2.  So I've been doing Level 1 again every day since Sunday 4/12. 

I noticed something off about listening to Level 1 this time around; normally it opens with the stream, but this time I heard a lot of crackling sounds before the stream sounds came in.  I realized that the headphones I got had noise-reducing properties, d'oh!  So I went back to the dollar store today and got another pair of headphones, this time making sure they fit all the requirements.  Tested it as well, and it sounds fine now.  Only spent a bit over a dollar on this pair.  Threw away the receipt and box for the first pair already, but it was only $2 so it wasn't that big of a deal at least.  =)

I've been feeling much better since I started listening to the recordings again.  Was feeling frazzled before with a multitude of nightmares every now and again which I've been working through, but I'm feeling calmer now.  Had another nightmare last night, but I'm getting better at becoming lucid within them.  I feel kinda drowsy though, like my head is under water.  It's not an unpleasant feeling especially after being so frazzled and hyper-vigilant for those few months, but I'm looking forward to progressing further and further as I go through the program!  =D

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2015, 12:26:12 am »
Decided to put my "start date" at 4/15 to compensate for the headphone mishap from the first few days, so I'm back on track now!  Feel REALLY relaxed.  My husband said something really rude to me today (he was tired and gets cranky when he's not feeling well, so we're going to talk about it later when we're both ready) and I cried about it, but I just allowed myself the release of crying while knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  Also had kinda a funny thing happen today in that when I was listening to my track (the first level), I stayed awake almost the whole time, but I must have passed out at the end because when I came to I was 3/4 done with the next track in the playlist (second level), so I just finished that one off too, ha ha.  I'm not sure how to set it up to where it stops after the one track, so I'm just doing my best to remain conscious as much as I can.  I guess that's one of the goals anyway.  But I'm starting a practice of being more "allowing" to whatever happens, so it's been good practice to go with the flow even when things don't go like I planned.  =)

Infinite

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2015, 01:20:36 am »
Hi TigerEyes,

Nice reports.  How are you playing the tracks?  iPod, MP3 player, computer?

The way I make sure I only listen to the one track is I create a playlist with just that one track in it.  Then when I want to listen, I select just that playlist.  I think there is also a repeat setting on my MP3 player that I had to shut off so it wouldn't automatically restart the playlist when I finished.

Best Regards,
Infinite

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2015, 07:03:11 pm »
Thanks for the tip, Infinite!  I listen on my phone (a Samsung) and it automatically made a "BrainEv" playlist when I transferred it to my phone.  I'm not 100% sure how to make playlists, but I'll Google it later to see if I can get some options that way.

My husband and I did talk (and fight) more, and we've made up now.  Felt mildly suicidal during the fight again, but that's normal for me as I long ago recognized that as a twisted manifestation of the fight/flight instinct (suicide would be very efficient as far as this instinct goes, as it covers both of these things! =P) and so have never acted on it.  Am feeling better now though, and I'm glad that my husband and I were able to talk more openly in the end.  I also realized that although I have a lot of friendships, I still don't really trust people with my heart too easily, so I'm working on opening up more to people in that regard.  =)
« Last Edit: April 18, 2015, 07:08:46 pm by TigerEyes »

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2015, 12:04:06 am »
I did end up making those playlists, and I THINK it's working well without doing a continuous autoplay.  When I listened today it somehow seemed to go to track 2 again even though I only have the first level on this playlist, but when I tested it again it was OK; just stopped after the track was finished.  When I listen tomorrow, I'll keep an eye on it again just in case.

As I was saying, my husband and I had a fight a couple days ago (he usually gets cranky when he's tired) and I got really upset about a few things he said, so I let myself cry for a long time to get it all out. After I thought I finished, a couple hours later I hurt myself minorly and started crying all over again. XD My husband was being pissy and wasn't in the mood to make sure I was alright, so it went on for a good long time. Sometimes when I get really upset I feel mildly suicidal, and felt these feelings again. That's not the first time that's happened though, and I long ago figured that it was probably a twisted manifestation of the fight/flight response. Really efficient since it would fulfill both those desire at once, if not for the whole "dying" thing, which this instinct is SUPPOSED to attempt to stop in the first place. XD So I've never (and will never) act on these feelings; just kinda let it ride out when they come until I've made peace with them and they disappear.

While it was happening, I kept picturing myself stabbing myself in the stomach, and I remember reading a long time ago that when people kill themselves, they tend to attack the place where they perceive their sense of self is. This is why westerners usually go for the head, but a lot of easterners go for the stomach (think Harakiri/Seppuku). Maybe I identify more with my gut, ha ha.

I also had another thought that maybe I have this backwards. Digestion is one of the first things to get the short stick when under the fight/flight response, as energy is being redirected to the muscles to fight and/or flee. I've been having trouble eating and drinking again lately, like my body doesn't want to eat that much no matter how good it tastes. So it's entirely possible that this problem was already there, and now my subconscious mind was showing me these images of me hurting my stomach to direct my attention to where the problem is. This actually makes sense because when I get super sad or angry, my appetite basically dries up. Plus I think I've been ignoring hunger/thirst cues lately; I've started tuning in more and notice that they ARE there, but I created the bad habit of procrastinating on fulfilling that need until later (sometimes MUCH later...). So while I was upset, I made myself some tea (with sugar so I could get some calories) and drank it; have also started paying more attention to feeling these cues and taking care of myself ASAP instead of putting it off for later. My husband and I did eventually talk more openly and made up, but before that I realized that I'm still not really trusting people with my heart that easily (i.e. since my husband didn't want to help me, I shut down and didn't want to go to anybody else). It's all well and good to talk about it after the fact, but I think that it'll probably be good for me to connect more openly with people and seek help when I need it. I have plenty of friends and family, probably just not used to trusting people that deeply besides my husband and myself, so I'm going to start working more on that. =)

Bonus is that I've only had one or two minor nightmares since this incident, as opposed to the tons I've been having over the past couple months! Really glad that I was able to work through it and process it much better. =D
« Last Edit: April 23, 2015, 01:02:28 am by TigerEyes »

Infinite

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2015, 01:20:12 am »
Glad to see you are making positive changes!


TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2015, 12:33:00 am »
Glad to see you are making positive changes!
Thanks!  =D 

The playlists did end up working well after all, so that's all taken care of!  It's funny how daunting it seemed to create the playlists at first, and then it turned out to be relatively simple in the end.  XD

I was reading about people talking about some other brainwave programs on this forum, and had a couple moments of fear-based thinking of "being on the wrong path".  Normally when I feel comfortable trying something out (i.e. cooking a new recipe) and it's something I'm relatively confident in (I'm fairly confident in cooking; not like I think that I'm "the best cook", but I'm fairly confident that I can test and tweak a recipe until it turns out well), I just work through the ups and downs no problem.  But other times when it's an area I'm not too confident in, I buy book after book and course after course to try to "figure everything out" to "make sure I'm on the right path."  So I just took a step back and asked myself what it was that I'm really looking to get out of this program.  I'm not interested in having some program do all the work for me, leaving me helpless.  Nor do I want a program to push me to extreme brainwave states without rhyme or reason.  Rather, my goal at this time is to becoming more allowing to "what is", and developing a relaxed awareness over that so that I can enjoy experiences, live my life more fully, and be able to be engaged in what I'm doing more fully.  Whether that's learning a new language, writing a book, singing, reading to my son, etc.  Being able to do this at will seems to be a much more attractive option than only relying on a program that may not have my customized needs at heart.  I especially like that this program works your brain out to help you find that balance on your own.  So I'm feeling more comfortable with the process now, and less frantic to keep trying to throw anything and everything at life in "hopes that something will 'stick'".  I understand that there will be ups and downs with this program or any other, and am becoming more accepting to just "be with it" and accept it as it comes.  =)
« Last Edit: April 25, 2015, 12:36:01 am by TigerEyes »

Infinite

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2015, 01:17:27 am »
You are still early in the program and already making positive changes.  I would say you are certainly NOT on the wrong path!

There are MANY programs out there, some better than others.  But even among the "better" ones, some work better for some people and worse for others.  For instance, the best known program is probably Holosync.  Thousands of people have had positive results with Holosync.  But if you read the forums here, you will see that some people ended up here because Holosync did NOT work well for them.  I happen to be one of them.

And NO program will work if you keep abandoning them to go start some other program that might be better.  You've found something that is working for you.  Stay the path.  After that, you can stop and think about if you want to try something else.  Or you may decide you've arrived where you want to be and you would rather spend your time focusing on other areas of life.

Best Regards,
Infinite

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2015, 02:42:21 pm »
You are still early in the program and already making positive changes.  I would say you are certainly NOT on the wrong path!

There are MANY programs out there, some better than others.  But even among the "better" ones, some work better for some people and worse for others.  For instance, the best known program is probably Holosync.  Thousands of people have had positive results with Holosync.  But if you read the forums here, you will see that some people ended up here because Holosync did NOT work well for them.  I happen to be one of them.

And NO program will work if you keep abandoning them to go start some other program that might be better.  You've found something that is working for you.  Stay the path.  After that, you can stop and think about if you want to try something else.  Or you may decide you've arrived where you want to be and you would rather spend your time focusing on other areas of life.

Best Regards,
Infinite
Exactly what I was thinking!  Plus, if I DO decide to try something else after completing this program (or more likely, two or three runs of this program along with maintenance mode), my brain will be much better trained and equipped to understand and work with other modalities, letting me understand myself more so that I CAN customize it to suit my own needs.  =)

My husband and I had another small fight yesterday, but I was able to cry and release it much quicker this time and talk with him openly about it after just a few minutes.  I've noticed that I feel like I sometimes feel slightly "scared" when he gets angry, which is probably some fear-based thinking about perceiving "loss of love".  I'm keeping in mind the difference between "love" and "neediness" for me, while reminding myself to stay grounded in my own love and feeling of power, so that's helping a lot.  So I'm learning to accept his anger more (and my own) without trying to "change" it, but just being open to working through it while keeping firm boundaries of "it's OK to be sad or mad, but it's not OK to hurt people physically or emotionally out of these feelings.  Even ourselves.  =P"  Actually I did notice that I was starting to "suppress" the anger still a little bit, so I just relaxed into it more and that helped a lot.  =)

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2015, 11:11:45 pm »
I'm into week 3 of level 1 at the moment.  Have been having good experiences so far!  Really relaxing to listen to, and I feel like my brain has been cleaned and cleared after doing a session.  It's a funny feeling, like the top of my head feels slightly cooler than before temperature-wise.

I used to pick at my skin (mostly face) a lot when I was a teenager since my younger sister was doing it too, but I eventually found out that it was really bad for the skin, so wanted to stop.  I weaned myself off of it over the years and got maybe 95% better with it, though still had some occasional relapses, and sometimes did just a little on most days. But I haven't done it at all in a few weeks because I've been posting on another forum to keep myself accountable with it, and I watched a really good hypnosis video on YouTube to help me release the feelings of wanting to pick.  I've also been watching and following along with an EFT video on YouTube for this as well, just 'cause it's shorter than the hypnosis one so it's easier to do every day.  Yesterday I saw a related video of a girl picking at her skin, and I cried so much watching it, during my EFT follow-along, and afterwards.  I felt really relieved after that, and could eventually look at the thumbnail of the video without crying, so I think that's a good sign that I released a lot of those pent-up feelings of being ashamed and sad for doing that to myself. 

Also have been having a little trouble getting to sleep recently, but I think that might be because it's so hot over here recently.  I don't feel significantly more tired most of the time, but do on occasion, so I want to slowly move myself to where I'm consistently going to bed earlier; maybe in the 10-10:30 PM range instead of the 12-12:30 AM range like it currently is.

Today was the last day of the online Spanish course I've been taking! It's not that bittersweet though, because I'm still going to practice with the friends I made from the group, and the teachers told me that I can e-mail them with questions anytime. Am going to keep up with consuming and mimicking media, practicing with people, etc. to keep up with it.

I'm in a short story masterclass as well (also online), but dropped off the exercises for the most part a couple weeks ago because I wanted to concentrate on Spanish for the couple spare hours I have available when my 2-year-old son isn't running around everywhere. But I have lifetime access to the course along with free updates, plus there are group calls and sample critiques that I also can do whenever I want. This is great because they just recently expanded it from a 6 week course to an 8 week one, and threw in a few extra courses as bonuses. Man, I love that feeling where people really demonstrate that they have your best interests at heart... So now that the Spanish course is over, I'm turning my focus to really immersing myself in this now. Great timing since the second round of the course starts today! =D
« Last Edit: May 02, 2015, 11:55:59 pm by TigerEyes »

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2015, 05:44:12 am »
I'm well into level 2 right now.  I enjoy listening to it, very relaxing.  I've been feeling some minor symptoms of depression bubbling to the surface though.  I think they're most likely resurfacing so I can process them and finally release them.  Sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming, but I've got a wonderful support group of a couple different friends that I talk with on a regular basis, and I've been talking with my husband a lot about it as well.  I think I start level 3 next Monday, so that'll be interesting I guess!

Infinite

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2015, 12:59:19 am »
Good luck!  I had similar issues with level 2 as well.  You WILL get through it!

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2015, 12:45:06 am »
Ha, thanks so much, Infinite!

I started level 3 yesterday, so I've done it twice so far.  I really like the sound of the waves.  For some reason (probably the frequencies) I also find it a bit agitating at times, but I just try to focus on the calming waves and allow myself to feel agitated if need be.  I've still felt slightly down the last couple days, but I'm doing my best to be honest with that.  I'm still talking to friends and my husband whenever I feel I need to, and that helps a lot as well.  And it's starting to not feel so insurmountable anymore either, so that's a neat change.  =D

TigerEyes

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2015, 05:34:37 am »
I finally graduated level 6 of the BrainEv program!  After I graduated, I listened to each level once over 6 days.  I still felt kinda foggy, and like the finish was kinda anti-climatic.  However, I listened to Level 7 as well as Level 7's pick me up today which I greatly enjoyed, so we'll see how I feel about it after listening to it for a month!
« Last Edit: October 27, 2015, 05:36:42 am by TigerEyes »

Infinite

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Re: My BrainEv Experiences
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2015, 12:57:07 am »
Good luck!  Let us know how you enjoy level 7

 





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